Grace and Te Deum: Ii. Prayers

I've been studying grace, vulnerability, and intimacy recently. While I have been learning a great deal and struggling to hash it out in my own life, I haven't reached the climax and culminating moment of illumination. (Do we ever feel like we reach that, especially while still learning?) There's so much I yet lack in understanding grace, in knowing what true vulnerability is, and in trusting others. Christ is the great exemplar in my life. His life is the perfect standard I seek to learn from, especially as a recovering closet perfectionist. My life is messy, while His is clean. And THAT is the beauty of it. Blood, sweat, and tears make the perfect laboratory for grace. Funny how long it takes us to figure that out sometimes, huh? My life is sufficient, and His grace is sufficient.

"Those who can't accept their imperfections can't accept grace either." (Don Miller, Scary Close)

Dan Forrest's Te Deum is one of my all time favorite pieces, especially the second movement, Prayers. It moves me—changes me, even.



I wouldn't consider this version a perfect performance of this movement, but it encapsulates beautifully the magic of the meaning: We don't often see the full picture when grace is being applied in our lives. Occasionally we catch sight of God's involvement, our part, and the supporting roles of others, just as with the documentation of this performance. Rarely do we get to view the full panorama. 

Yet at times we can sense the earnestness with which God fills us and grants us grace, emphatically giving more and more. How often He guides us to know when to enter, when to close, the forcefulness or gentleness required. Even when He sings along with us the words we should've known. Sometimes we see it, and sometimes we don't. And still He continues.

Or when we catch glimpses of the strengthening support of those surrounding us, seen and unseen. Lifting, filling, even carrying us. They add to us, amplifying our best efforts, though still quite feeble. An awareness allows for more interaction, it allows for an added measure of beauty, harmony and grace amidst (ALONGSIDE) the messiness to permeate the world - for it does not only affect our lives.

And in movements of self-awareness there we sway, feeling the pulse of grace and discovering the rhythm of receiving and living in mercy. Sometimes it may take prolonged delay to find it, but oh, the magic that's brought to life when we do!
And the space. There is always to space to let grace enter. To let Him in. The resonance of the Atonement beautifies all. Yes, there is space for pain, space for hurt, and space for betrayal. But in the greatest risks, there is the greatest reward. Christ experienced vulnerability as will never be asked of another. Because of Him we can love self and others truly and wholly without condition.

Catching glimpses of grace changes us, enables to receive it more readily than in our past, and to offer it to others. My worldview changes with a more expansive understanding of grace. I still have much more to go, but it's satisfying to witness changes already.

How will you try to see grace more fully in your life?